So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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