you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My vagina just recognized that song.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
