Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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