are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
