I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
