At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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