Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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