Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We need to get me chipped asap
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