she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
