The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
