You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I could make wine with my vomit
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
