I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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