I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
