I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
you had me at cake vodka
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
