one two three fourrrrnication!
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
