you have to choose: penises or morals?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
