Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize