In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
