I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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