Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
