I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The Olympian is in my bed
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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