He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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