i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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