It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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