You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
