question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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