so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Just high enough for therapy.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
