I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize