Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
