I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My vagina just clenched in fear
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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