Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
