Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
