This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
