We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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