So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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