If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
