Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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