swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
