awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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