How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
