Just fell off a train. Bad.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
