Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize