i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
