based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
