I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
