I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
