And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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