You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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