Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
