I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
