roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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