you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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