Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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