Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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