Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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