I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
