I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize
