just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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