Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
